Parent of Adult Son with Mental Illness Vows to End Silence on Stigma
Judy Sandler, author of 'What Kind of Mother, A Reckoning,' describes the emotional toll of concealing her 29-year-old son James’s mental health struggles from friends. She argues that lying by omission perpetuates stigma and isolates families, advocating for honest disclosure to foster connection and reduce shame.
Key points
- Sandler’s son James, 29, resides in a therapeutic living community in Brookline, Vermont, after recent episodes.
- She previously deflected questions about her children’s well-being to avoid judgment, a tactic researchers term 'stigma by association.'
- Sandler notes that 450 million people globally suffer from mental illness or neurological disorders, yet stigma remains a major barrier to open dialogue.
- Her son advised against dishonesty, stating that lying by omission is still dishonest, which influenced her decision to be transparent.
- The piece highlights that sharing experiences with other affected families can aid coping and reduce the loneliness associated with mental illness.
Background
This personal essay aligns with broader discussions on mental health visibility, such as recent coverage of the ketogenic diet as a potential therapy for severe mental illnesses and cases where families cite lifelong mental illness in high-profile incidents, like the Times Square stabbing. While those cases involve different contexts, they underscore the ongoing societal struggle to address mental health openly without stigma.
Why it matters
The essay challenges the norm of silence surrounding mental illness, suggesting that transparency can dismantle stigma and create supportive communities. It emphasizes that families often bear the burden of secrecy, which can exacerbate isolation and hinder recovery. By advocating for honesty, Sandler aims to normalize conversations about mental health, potentially reducing the shame associated with these conditions.
What to watch
Sandler’s upcoming book, 'What Kind of Mother, A Reckoning,' set for release on September 8, will likely expand on these themes. Continued public discourse on mental health stigma may lead to more open conversations in social settings, potentially reducing the 'stigma by association' faced by families. Resources like the SAMHSA National Helpline (800-662-HELP) remain critical for those seeking support.
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