Rethinking Sex When Erections Fade: Honest Talk for Mutual Pleasure

Slate’s How to Do It offers practical guidance for an older gay man who can’t achieve an erection after cancer: be upfront about your sexual capabilities, label your preferred roles in apps or early conversations, and explain that you may have dry orgasms and will focus on pleasuring your partner rather than on getting hard, with the aim of honest communication and mutual satisfaction even if some people feel rejected.