Slate Advice Column Addresses Concerns Over New Genital Spots in a Casual Relationship
A reader of Slate’s 'How to Do It' column reports noticing new brown spots on their casual partner’s genitals, raising concerns about potential genital warts. The partner dismissed the observation, claiming he saw nothing when checking himself, and did not answer the reader’s question about when he last had a sexual health check. The columnist advises the reader to continue the conversation, noting that warts typically have a raised texture unlike freckles, and to pause sexual activity until the partner provides negative test results. The advice emphasizes self-advocacy and the high contagiousness of HPV, while noting that screening can identify precancerous cells.
Key points
- A reader noticed tiny brown spots on their friend-with-benefits’ penis and scrotum that were not present in previous encounters over the last 18 months.
- The partner responded to the reader’s concern by sending a video showing no visible issues but refused to answer when he last had a sexual health check.
- The columnist suggests the reader remind the partner that the spots were new and that warts usually have a raised texture, distinguishing them from freckles.
- The advice recommends pausing sexual activity until the partner provides negative test results, rather than explicitly demanding a doctor’s visit.
- The columnist notes that HPV is highly contagious and suggests the reader consider the Gardasil vaccine if not already vaccinated, while continuing regular testing.
Background
This article is part of Slate’s 'How to Do It' sex advice column, which provides guidance on sexual health and relationship issues. The column is co-written by Rich Juzwiak and Stoya, and readers can submit anonymous questions. The advice reflects common concerns about communication and consent in casual sexual relationships, particularly regarding the disclosure of sexual health status.
Why it matters
The issue highlights the importance of open communication and self-advocacy in sexual relationships, particularly regarding sexual health. It underscores the need for partners to be transparent about their health status and the potential risks of sexually transmitted infections like HPV. The advice also emphasizes the importance of regular testing and vaccination in preventing and managing such infections.
What to watch
The reader is advised to continue the conversation with their partner, potentially pausing sexual activity until the partner provides negative test results. The partner may need to seek medical advice if the spots persist or if there are concerns about sexual health. The reader is also encouraged to continue regular testing and consider the Gardasil vaccine if not already vaccinated.
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