Reader shares decade-long success story of ethical non-monogamy with a married couple
A Slate reader shares a personal account of maintaining a 'friends with benefits' arrangement with a woman and her husband for over a decade, arguing that such relationships are viable if boundaries are clear and romantic expectations are managed.
Key points
- The reader, who identifies as 'Friends With Benefits Do Exist,' describes a long-term arrangement with a woman and her husband that began as a casual 'fuck buddy' setup and evolved into a broader friendship.
- The arrangement included social activities like watching movies, road trips, and attending gatherings, distinct from purely sexual encounters.
- The reader emphasizes that the success of the arrangement depended on the woman not developing romantic feelings, which was managed maturely when it occurred.
- Rich Juzwiak, the Slate advice columnist, acknowledges the reader's experience but notes that definitions of 'friends with benefits' are subjective and may not apply universally.
- Juzwiak suggests that while such arrangements can work, they require a flexible approach and clear communication, particularly regarding non-romantic boundaries.
Background
This story follows Slate's 'How to Do It' column, which regularly features advice on relationships and sex. The archive contains unrelated stories on dementia and marital conflict, but no prior coverage of ethical non-monogamy or friends-with-benefits arrangements.
Why it matters
The story highlights the complexity and potential viability of non-traditional relationships, challenging common assumptions about the feasibility of 'friends with benefits' arrangements, especially in the context of ethical non-monogamy.
What to watch
Slate's 'How to Do It' column will likely continue to feature reader-submitted advice and responses from columnists like Rich Juzwiak, focusing on relationship dynamics and sexual advice.
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