Prudie Rules: Asking a Parent to Lower a Child’s iPad Volume Is Not Rude
Slate’s advice columnist Prudie addressed a reader’s query about whether it is rude to ask a parent to lower the volume of a child’s iPad on a plane. The reader, who was delayed on a tarmac for 39 minutes, politely requested the flight attendant intervene and later asked the mother if she had headphones. The mother responded dismissively, stating the child was three years old. Prudie concluded that the reader was not in the wrong for making a polite request, while the mother was at fault for ignoring the request. The columnist emphasized that while toddlers are excused for noise, parents should still respond with basic courtesy when asked to mitigate disturbance.
Key points
- A reader on a delayed flight asked a flight attendant to address a child playing 'Baby Shark' at full volume on an iPad.
- The flight attendant did not intervene, so the reader politely asked the mother if she had headphones, noting Delta provides them for free.
- The mother responded by saying the child was three years old and implying there was nothing she could do.
- Prudie ruled the reader 'Not the Asshole' for being polite and using proper channels, while labeling the mother 'The Asshole' for ignoring the request.
- The columnist acknowledged the difficulty of traveling with toddlers but argued that a parent could have apologized or offered a compromise instead of dismissing the request.
- Prudie advised the reader to manage their own expectations to avoid suffering from inevitable social faux pas, but maintained that the initial request was reasonable.
Background
This column appears in Slate’s 'Prudie Lurks' series, which analyzes posts from the 'Am I the Asshole?' subreddit. The advice column focuses on interpersonal conflicts and social etiquette, providing a framework for evaluating responsibility in public spaces. Previous coverage in our archive has touched on parenting boundaries and grief, but this specific piece addresses the etiquette of shared public spaces like airplanes, where noise and behavior are common points of contention among travelers.
Why it matters
The story highlights the tension between individual comfort and collective responsibility in public spaces, particularly during travel. It underscores the expectation that adults, even when managing difficult situations with young children, should maintain a baseline of courtesy toward others. The advice serves as a guide for navigating minor social conflicts without escalating them, emphasizing that polite requests are not inherently rude, even if they are not always honored.
What to watch
No further developments are expected from this specific incident, as it is a one-time advice column. However, the discussion may continue in online forums regarding airline policies for children and the availability of noise-cancelling headphones for minors. Airlines may continue to distribute free headphones to mitigate such issues, but enforcement of volume control remains largely voluntary.
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