Slate advice columnist dismisses husband's complaint over unequal partner count at sex club
A reader asked Slate's 'How to Do It' column if her husband was being childish for complaining that she had sex with more people than he did at a sex club. Rich Juzwiak agreed, stating there is no 'cosmic order' requiring equal partner counts, and that the husband's grievance stems from entitlement rather than fairness.
Key points
- A married couple attended a sex club for the first time at the husband's request.
- The wife had sexual encounters with several men, while the husband had sex with two women.
- The husband expressed anger, claiming the situation was unfair due to the disparity in partner numbers.
- The wife asked columnist Rich Juzwiak if her husband was being childish for this reaction.
- Juzwiak confirmed the husband was acting childishly, noting that attraction and interest are not controllable or guaranteed to be equal.
- The columnist argued that complaining about the number of partners is a form of 'numbers game nonsense' and entitlement.
Background
This advice column appears in Slate's 'How to Do It' section, which focuses on sexual advice and relationship dynamics. The article was published on September 5, 2026, and is part of a series of advice columns that address various relationship and sexual concerns. The specific issue of unequal partner counts at group sexual events is a recurring theme in discussions about non-monogamy and consent, where individual experiences and desires may not align perfectly.
Why it matters
The column highlights a common tension in relationships involving non-traditional sexual activities, specifically the expectation of equality in group settings. It challenges the notion that fairness in sexual encounters requires identical outcomes for all partners, emphasizing instead the importance of consent and individual autonomy. The advice serves as a reminder that resentment over unequal experiences can undermine the positive aspects of shared activities, such as the novelty and pleasure derived from the event.
What to watch
The couple may need to discuss their expectations and boundaries for future sexual adventures to ensure both partners feel comfortable and respected. The husband may need to process his feelings of inadequacy or jealousy, while the wife may need to understand the impact of her actions on her partner's emotional state. Open communication about desires and limits could help prevent similar conflicts in the future.
Want the full story? Read the original reporting
Read on Slate